for little Cheptoo

it is a frightening world, dear young sister,

& you might not have realized it yet

& it scares me

the dreams you have today

soaring up, unlimited like imagination,

the shining light in your eyes

the curious questions you ask today

there will be a time they may be dimmed

by the strictures of the society

telling you, “You are a woman!”

as if the dreams in your heart

were marked with the ink named woman

you see, Sister, there was once a time

when baby Lizzy  and her twin brother, Billy,

were with me

& i was bathing them

& she asked me why Billy had dudu

while she had not

& that was the briefest question that I had no answer for

i remember also a question that little Billy once asked

a friend differently-abled in crutches visited me

& Bill asked what happened to his legs and why he wasn’t walking properly

& again, I had no answer but I mumbled something

the world you are living in, Sister,

will not be fair to you and if you will not be careful

it might pull you down, suck life out of you & drag you on dirt

for the blooms, there are wilted petals

yellowing and wilting in stunted dreams

& gardeners, early in the morning, pick them up

weep for them and not even their tears

drenching the rotting life resuscitate them to life

i will never tell you to behave like a grown-up, dear Cheptoo,

because being grown-up has stunted me

this society wants me to act like an adult

to dress like an adult, eat like an adult, think like an adult

and being an adult is no fun anymore

i no longer ask those curious questions like Billy and Lizzy

i don’t play chodoko anymore, or sheki, or koraa, or use fantili

i stopped going to mtelezo or swimming at pango

because adults are expected to behave like adults

being an adult is no fun anymore

see, Cheptoo, you say anything the way you say it

and you don’t care and no one has any problem

because you are a child

when you are not happy, you just say it

and when you are happy, you show it

but we adults are complicated

a person may be happy but you won’t know

a person may be unhappy and you won’t know

sometimes they are happy-unhappy and still you don’t know

how do you do it, Cheptoo?

they way you cry, your chest heaving

the way you laugh, your chuckle so full of life

sometimes I laugh but my insides are tearing apart

you see, you don’t want your enemies to know that you are unhappy

so you pretend to be happy even when your body is screaming in pain

dear Cheptoo, if you forget everything else

don’t forget this:

develop a fierce love for books

for though the society may want to pull you down

books will be your best leverage

read all manner of books & never let your education

interfere with your love for reading

for when you will be done with formal education

you will realize that the best education

was one that you did at your leisure

when no big stick was wielded

~echoes of the hills 29.2.2016