Sunday, 6 May 2012

Wait, Where Did We Bury It? (Florette)


I promised that I will be back. Now I am. And what a great way than to try a poetry form known as a florette.

The challenge at the Imaginary Garden with Real Toads  this Sunday was this:
 
Florette:


Rhyme scheme: a, a, b, a
Meter (syllable count): 8, 8, 8, 12
Fourth line requirement of internal (b) rhyme scheme, on syllable 8.
The completed poem should consist of two or more stanzas.


xxxxxxxa
xxxxxxxa
xxxxxxxb
xxxxxxxbxxxa

Here’s my attempt:


Pilgrim, across the cemetery of wasted
words, show me just one most jaded
by the tongue. Ignore the weed of orphaned
idiom, just walk across and tell me the wisdom,
such is my thought vested.

I want you, most fairly, to be judge;
though you be immortal, candour is your badge.
Exhume the words, then, go ahead fellow
Pilgrim, I have the Court Order fellow Pilgrim,
Will you budge?

10 comments:

razzamadazzle said...

This is really interesting and rather enigmatic.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Thank you for trying out this form. I think the message of your poem is so strong that the form itself plays second place - which is as it should be.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

A very clever poem of entreaty, fellow pilgrim:)

Heaven said...

Strong voice... Very well done ~ Thanks for sharing this ~

The Unknowngnome said...

I agree with Kerry. Your message is always so strong of voice. Here you exhume more than words, here imagery has risen by word.

Would really enjoy spending a hot lazy shaded afternoon in talks with you someday.

echoesofthehills said...

Thank you so much @razzmadazzie. Thanks for dropping by.

echoesofthehills said...

I actually tried wrestling with getting the form right but to little success. Finally, I think the message won over. Thanks for making the maiden pilgrimage to the hills.

echoesofthehills said...

Coming as it does from my dear Koko. Thanks a lot.

Grandson.

echoesofthehills said...

O, Good @Heaven[s]! I am humbled and you are most welcome to these sacred hills

echoesofthehills said...

Thanks a lot @TUG.

You see, rubbing against your wisdom results in this. Now, with an invitation of some great times with you would make for even better stuff. You are my mentor, TUG.

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